Why do I write?

It’s 6:39 PM here. I just came home from gym. darshan.sh my website is down because of some firestore code which I changed earlier today. I think 40 or 50 chrome tabs are still open which consist of the research/blog posts I am doing right now but since I am using a m1 machine so I no longer feel that I need to close them to write this post.

Someone asked me today, why do you write? Isn’t there enough dirt already on internet?

Now I am writing to answer why do I write?

To give myself a turing feel I am playing the background music of “the social network” right now. Only difference is I am not in a kirkland and php is no longer the most used backend language.

Let’s come to the question now — why do I write? After hovering over 200 answers in my mind I think I will give the final answer now -

I don’t know

Yes, I don’t know. Also the same answer comes to my mind when I ask myself — What am I? Why do we live? What is right/wrong? What is morality/immorality? What is purity/impurity? What is religion? Who is god?and if there is any why can’t I see any? and many more questions. I don’t know the answer to all these questions right now. Maybe with time answers will come to me or maybe not. Maybe someone, atleast one person reads my posts or maybe not. What may be right for one, may be wrong for other. What may be right at some point of time earlier, maybe wrong in future. A lot of may be, you see. That’s why the simplest answer to the question why do I write or post videos of myself lifting weight on instagram or write something on linkedin/twitter is I don’t know.

I know very little and on the basis of that I try to live and base my actions. As long as my actions are not hurting anybody I think I can do that. Millions of people may read this post in future or maybe none. Thousands might bash me on linkedin or maybe none, hunderds will come to praise my work or may be none. Does it impact me? It doesn’t even impact me a bit.

Even if there is no one to read this post, I myself is enough for my post to read.

What’s the point of writing then, you might think? Do we really need a point to base our actions. Do I ask oxygen or take its permission before it goes to my lungs? Do we need to base our actions always by looking at results? That’s why I am saying — let people come in thousands to bash me or to praise me — I will still continue what I feel is right. Now it’s my turn to ask you a question? -

Would you still dare to do what you feel is right even after knowing that your wife, your son, your parents, all people living right now are against you?

I take all responsibilities of my action. I am not a coward and definitely not someone who criticises others by staying behind the firewall (internet). It is easy to comment, harder to do. Easy to laugh, harder to inspire. Easy to speak, harder to take action. Easy to watch a video, harder to make one. Easy to be an employee, harder to be an employer. Easy to sit and scroll on internet, harder to make content.

Some of the answers amongst those 200 are worth writing. So I am writing those —

1. Maybe, I want to write when I see a white blank canvas
2. Maybe, I want to read my blog posts when I am on my deathbed
3. Maybe, maybe there is some kid somewhere who gets excited like me when he reads a tech article
4. Maybe, I am inspired to write by those whom I follow
5. Maybe, I write to get answers
6. Maybe, I try to resolve something by writing
7. Maybe, this is my coping mechanism
8. Maybe, I want to share what little I know with world and many more maybes….

Now I suppose it’s time I should put down my pen.